Why you can safely ignore so many "experts"

Everyone is an expert nowadays.

TV and radio are awash with them. The internet is home to millions of them. And the newspapers are flooded with them.

You only need to have a minimal amount of knowledge about one subject - less even than contestants on TV program Hard Quiz - to proclaim yourself an expert, or be hailed as one.

The other day one of the newspaper travel sections had a selection of holiday choices from "experts". Nearly every single one was singing the praises of a destination that they sell.

The other night, veteran journalist Liz Hayes was surrounded by "experts" on her prime time TV show Under Investigation. 

The experts debated a decades old murder mystery for an hour - and revealed not one piece of new evidence or intelligence.

All we got was their "expert" thoughts on a crime they clearly knew very little about, but were very keen to waffle about.

Then there is a TV show MAFS - for which I have only seen adverts and snippets before changing the channel. 

But I've seen enough to know that their "expertise" seems to extend to pairing up wildly mismatched couples in a bid to create sensationalist headlines and publicity.

So many experts are just seeking publicity either to feed their own egos, or because they want to sell you something.

In today's Body & Soul supplement in News Ltd papers, three of the experts chosen to talk about "the morning hacks of productive people" were a bloke who has had well publicised mental issues; a woman who most recently hit the headlines after being accused of an affair with with her ex partner, a retired cricketer, and another woman who sells sex aids and potions but does not know the difference between the prostate and being prostrate.

Their "expert" advice was unintentionally hilarious.

The first woman's tips on having a good morning were "spending a moment to ground my thoughts, refer to my crystals, oracle cards and readings from the book The Daily Stoic".

Deep stuff.

The TV type who has "spent many years battling anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation" has good morning hints including "not carrying any irrational energy'. He exposes himself to daylight and has a double espresso to get his "prefrontal cortex firing.".

Good stuff.

But the best tips come from the sex business saleswoman who assures us that we "must make time for a little morning masturbation".

Of course. 

She insists that we should "start your day with an orgasm (solo or with a partner) to get those feel good chemicals flowing".

That's pretty darn expert. And, of course, the story kindly provides the name of her no doubt lucrative online business.

When TV insults your intelligence and damages tourism

Fancy a few days of solitude in the remote Australian wilderness? 

Wait a minute.

You might just be murdered: perhaps by a malicious team of machine-gun wielding thugs, or maybe a group of mendacious marijuana farmers. 

I know this because I watched a TV show called Under Investigation on Channel Nine last night. 

I feel sorry for the people from Victoria's High Country Tourism, who promote this part of the world to tourists.

Here is the program formula: Take a presenter who used to be a big TV star a couple of decades ago. 

Throw in some unsolved murders. 

Add in some "experts" - a bloke who lives near where some disappearances occurred; a criminologist who has failed to solve the "crimes" previously. 

Add a bloke with a very serious face and a woman who looks like she belongs on a Keno advert.

They aim to "solve crimes and uncover new evidence".   

Instead, they rehashed a lot of old theories, threw in a few red herrings and helped trash a region's tourism appeal. 

That, basically, was Under Investigation in a nutshell.

No new suspects, precious little new insight. A lot of "High Country Hell".

An hour of commercial TV time wasted for both presenters and viewers. But lots of exposure for the alleged "experts". A bit like Married at First Sight, but less interesting. 

If you are staying away from the wilderness in north-east Victoria right now, no one can blame you. 

Homicidal lunatics, fortunately now deceased, those groups of wild men with automatic weapons firing randomly, and animals that enjoy destroying evidence. 

The Australian bush is a scary enough place without these malevolent beasts out to get you. 

It is easy to get lost and die if you don't prepare properly or suffer a medical incident, which is probably/possibly what happened to most of the missing people.

Go visit Victoria's High Country. Great wines, a range of boutique breweries. Some delightful small towns. And only a handful of maniacs wanting to chase you down and kill you.