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Saturday 9 December 2017

Pompous prats set a new high in pretentiousness

There is an awful lot of pretence surrounding wine, spirits, cocktails, even craft ales,  but a new promotion in London takes the biscuit for idiotic self-absorption. 

The Hyde Bar in London’s chic Knightsbridge district has launched a limited-edition menu in which it pairs different cocktails and whiskies with a selection of bow ties and cravats.

Yes, you read that right. Bow ties and cravats. What sort of tosser wears a cravat for a night out on the town? 

The Drinks Business reports that Esquire’s style director Teo Van Den Broeke and fashion writer David Evans believe you should dress to match the drink you are imbibing. 

Evans has worked with producer Cravat Club to pair their 100% pure silk cravats with a selection of whiskies, while Van Den Broeke has paired cocktails with bow ties from Harvey Nichols.

Both men sound like they are suffering from AGS (Attention Grabbing Syndrome) and need a damn good thrashing of common sense. 

The ‘Attire’ menu, featuring a list of limited edition Macallan whisky cocktails paired with designer bow ties, and Macallan drams with matching silk cravats, seeks to stop you from making drinks-related fashion faux pas, reports The Drinks Business, apparently in all seriousness.

I have, it seems, spent decades making faux pas while enjoying a pint at the pub, or a glass of semillon at the wine bar. Silly me. 

The menu includes drinks like Sherry Cask Sour for £18 (a blend of Macallan 12 years, lemon juice, sauvignon blanc reduction, egg white and fresh grapes) which has been paired with Cornelliani Burgundy silk Bow Tie for £80. Mind you, if you are paying $30+ for a drink you are probably daft enough to want a matching tie.

Van Den Broeke commented: “While I have a more relaxed personal style I do enjoy dressing in premium tailoring for special occasions; the upcoming festive season offers plenty opportunities to dress up. I have really enjoyed pairing the ties to match the cocktails and I am sure customers will enjoy finding their favourite.”

Guests that order from the menu, and are staying at The Park Tower Hotel (where the bar is located), can have their bow tie or cravat hand-wrapped and delivered to their room or a chosen address. 

And almost as absurd is the news that two headline-seeking microbreweries in Florida have combined to create a repulsive-sounding Krispy Kreme stout. At 12.5% ABV and "hoping that some of the glaze from the Krispy Kremes will come through". 

God help us all. 

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