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Wednesday 27 May 2015

The airline passengers from hell

Regular fliers dread being sat next to the grossly obese passenger who spills over into their seat; the chatterbox who never stops talking; the imbecile who considers the aircraft an ideal place in which trim their finger nails or, perhaps worst of all, the passenger with extreme body odour issues. 

But there are also parents who make no effort to prevent their offspring from screaming from takeoff to landing and dozens of other pestilent fellow fliers. 

On a recent long-haul flight I identified several types of traveller among a particularly moronic bunch who pushed my buttons. Which most annoys you? 

Passengers who cannot hear pre-boarding announcements and march to the front of the queue even though they are in row 15 and rows 50-65 are being instructed to board? 

Those who walk to the back row of the aircraft and then turn around and try to walk back against the tide having inexplicably missed row eight? 

Passengers who carefully place two or three pieces of luggage in the overhead compartment, sit down, then realise they need a book, iPad or whatever, get back up and spend 10 minutes sorting through the bags while blocking the aisle.  

Those who wait until the plane is ready to taxi to decide to go to the toilet?

Passengers who wait until just before takeoff to decide their child's nappy needs changing and need to be herded back to their seat? .

Those bring on massive suitcases far too heavy for them to lift into the overhead cabins - but expect fellow passengers to risk life and limb to help them lift their gargantuan weapons? 

Travellers chronically unable to work out that D comes before E, or 15 before 50, who stand puzzled like a rabbit in headlights in the aircraft corridor while other more savvy passengers try to squeeze past them? 

Those who bring on massive bags and packages swinging from their shoulders, oblivious to the fact that they are assaulting other passengers as their burdens swing from side to side and crash into those unfortunate enough to already be seated?

Those who, after takeoff, talk at full volume to those next to them, oblivious to the fact that 50 or more people really don't wish to listen to their banal conversation.

Or dribblers who push their seats fully backwards as soon as they sit down and then need to be told multiple times to put them up straight for takeoff and landing.

Or maybe you have your own personal gripe about your fellow travellers? Do let me know. 


1 comment:

  1. It's people totally unprepared for airport security that drive me bonkers. They wait until they are at the screening point before spending 10 minutes unloading their pockets of keys, wallets, loose change, removing several layers of clothes, shoes, unpacking their laptop... and then still try walking through with their mobile in their hand. In short, it is the bewildered, unprepared and those oblivious to those around them.